The Real Reason Why Couples Baby Talk

This other day, I was in a coffee shop, sitting cozy with a book, sipping on my cappuccino. Suddenly I overheard two mushy lovers from the other table, “Aww, my sweetie pie loves her foamy-woamy wittle latte, doesn’t she? Gimme some sugar, muffin!” “Oh, dear lord! Why do couples baby talk?” I couldn’t help but cringe.

If you are not sure why their conversation irked everyone there, let’s elaborate on baby talk or what’s linguistically called ‘motherese’. Have you noticed how people talk to their babies or even pets in a silly, rhythmic tone? Their voice shifts up an octave; they use a sickeningly sweet tone and dramatic intonation. Repetition of words and a simpler vocabulary is also common in this practice. For some reason, people in love adapt to this style of communication. 

Are you someone who actively uses flirtatious baby talk but your partner can’t stand it? Or do you detest this immature voice in adults? Either way, let’s find some answers for you all!

Is Baby Talk Normal In A Relationship? 

“My boyfriend talks to me in baby language. Is it weird?” asks Melissa, a 22-year-old artist from Huston. Well, as annoying as it is for on-lookers to hear couples talk like a child, it is an absolutely normal way of expressing affection. According to a source, almost two-thirds of couples engage in baby-talking. 

Let’s trace back to the root of baby talk to find out why it is so widely accepted among romantic partners. When a mother uses her doting voice, the simplistic syntax and the melodious tone help an infant with rapid language learning. It also builds a strong bond of endearment between parents and the child.

One might think adults in romantic relationships talk in the baby voice merely to show love and care for each other. But subconsciously they are taken back to those earliest memories of attachment and intimacy in its purest form. 

Any guesses on how these two actions are interrelated? 

Research shows that the same neurotransmitters are in play behind the baby talk between a parent and a child and a romantic couple. That is because baby talk generates the following hormonal responses: For instance:

• Dopamine: It is released when a couple feels the euphoria and exhilaration of being ‘so in love’ that they can barely stay away from each other. Similarly, it triggers the emotional bond between a mother and her child and encourages her to be protective of the baby and savor the bliss of motherhood

• Oxytocin: The famous ‘love hormone’ has something to do with the heightened pleasure of physical intimacy between two partners. In a new mother, it releases during breastfeeding and other moments of skin contact with her baby such as cuddling

The baby talk between lovers is not only normal but a deep-seated urge in their subconscious mind. If anything, it reflects their loving, wholesome childhood. 

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Why Do Couples Talk Like Babies? 

“Why do I talk in a baby voice to my boyfriend/girlfriend? We understand it’s a bit extreme for others but for us, it’s oddly satisfying”—this came in the mail from one of our readers. This person feels answerable for their love language because people usually give a look of haughty derision at these childish couples. But once you explore the reasons behind this kind of behavior, you will realize you belong to the high ground here. So, why do couples baby talk?

1. It’s a sign of a healthy, secure attachment

Studies show individuals with secure attachment styles mostly engage in baby talk. A couple who has created a nurturing relationship from scratch feels comfortable communicating like this, even in public. They have seen each other in all of their strengths and flaws. And they choose to accept and love the other person just as they are. Stability in a relationship often triggers baby talk.

2. It’s their way of connecting with each other 

Every couple has a unique way of connecting on a deeper level. It could be anything from doing a crossword together to asking each other intimate questions to touching their partner while sleeping. Baby talking is just another approach. They express and understand each other the best through baby talk. The comforting innocent tone and the sugary baby-talk words bring them closer. And they have this flair for turning just any name into adorable nicknames. See how it goes:

Daniel: Did my Emmy-wemmy get an ouchie? Aw, my poor baby!

Emily: Yesh…and I’m sew mad at you cause you are wate

Daniel: I am soo sowwy, Em-em. Lemme kissie it and you’ll feel better 

Emily: Tank yous Dani-boo. I wuv you. But Imma need more kissies

3. It helps them keep their inner child alive 

When someone says “I love being babied by my boyfriend/girlfriend”, it means their inner child feels safe with their partner. They can let down their guard and be playful and goofy without worrying about judgments. Very few adult relationships can love and nurture our inner child. It takes affection, empathy, and catering to each other’s emotional needs. Some couples adopt baby talk as a means of compassion and emotional vulnerability. 

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What Are The Benefits Of Baby Talk In Relationship? 

“Stop sending these baby-talk text messages,” says your partner, “I hate baby talk in adults.” Ah, it’s a shame they are not a fan of your cute baby voice. If you feel so strongly about it, you can play one last card to convince them. Explain to them the following benefits of baby talk in a relationship and see if you can get them on board:

• The release of happy hormones like endorphins and dopamine during baby talk reduces the level of stress in your life 
• Your unique way of baby-talking can be like a secret code language. It helps you draw boundaries with your surroundings and create your very own nest of love just anywhere
• It’s hard to be too mad at your partner when you are talking in an adorable baby voice. You can resolve any fight without hurting each other’s feelings
• You can’t talk like this with someone unless you are assured of their intentions. So, in a way, baby talk works as a catalyst in building trust between two partners

Why do couples baby talk? Now that you know exactly why and how common it is among lovebirds, you can stop beating yourself up. Baby talk appeals to people across all languages, races, ages, and communities. If you are an advocate of baby talk, first consider if your partner has any reservations about it. And maybe, tone it down a little in public places if you want to dodge the judgemental eyes. Having said that, don’t hold yourself back. Baby talk can do wonders for your relationship!