How To Fart Quietly In Public – 7 Tips For Silent Farts

Let’s face it, everyone farts. In fact, studies show that the average person farts between 10 and 20 times a day. But what if you need to fart at the wrong moment? How to fart quietly when you’re in a meeting or on a date? The pressure to release the gas quietly in such situations can be really stressful. 

Farting is a natural bodily function and sometimes it’s just beyond your control. But the sound (or smell) can often lead to awkward or embarrassing situations. Luckily, there are some tried-and-tested techniques that can help in releasing the gas without making any noise and smell. 

In this article, we’ll explore the science behind farting, why farts make noise, and most importantly, how to fart silently in public. 

Why Do We Fart – The Science Behind Farting

Farting (also known as flatulence) is an action that is part of your digestive system that releases gasses during the process of breaking down food. When you eat, your stomach and intestines produce gasses like nitrogen, oxygen, carbon dioxide, methane, and hydrogen. The amount of gas produced depends on what you eat. For example, you may fart more if you eat beans or raw vegetables as those are more difficult to digest. 

According to research, these are some of the foods that can make you fart more than usual:

• Whole grains: wheat, bran or oats
• Vegetables: broccoli, brussels sprouts, asparagus or cabbage
• Fruits: prunes, peaches, pears or apples
• Beverages: soft drinks, sports drinks, fruit juices or energy drinks
• Dairy products: milk, cheese, yogurt or ice cream

Gas is produced when your digestive system produces bacteria while breaking down food in your intestines. The gasses escape in the forms of belching (or burping) and flatulence (or farting). 

Gasses in the upper gastrointestinal tract (esophagus and stomach) release in the form of burping. However, the only way for the gasses in your intestines to release is through farting. This helps to prevent discomfort that gas accumulation can cause. “If we didn’t pass gas, we would explode,” says Dr. Eamonn Quigley, a gastroenterologist with Houston Methodist Gastroenterology Associates.

Now that we know why we fart, let’s understand why these farts make noise. 

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Why Do Farts Make Noise?

Each fart is unique. Think about it, some farts come out with the loudest noise ever, while others might innocently pass away (sometimes leaving a stench). The sound itself is caused by the vibrations of gas, you know how you slowly release gas from an inflated balloon? 

The sound of each fart depends on the gas accumulated in your stomach, the speed of the gas release and the sphincter, which is the muscle around your anus (yes, it’s that simple).

If you release gas fast while squeezing your buttocks, the sound of the fart will be louder. Similarly, if you are trying to pass just a small amount of gas, chances are that it may slip out silently if you’re lucky. A fart will also be silent if your muscles are relaxed. However, most of the time these muscles are tightened as you try to stop a fart causing the sound to be louder. 

As established, noise is not always a given. Some farts can be quite stealthy if you know the right techniques. That brings us to the main topic—how to fart quietly when you absolutely must.

How To Fart Quietly – 7 Tips For Public Situations

Let’s be honest, holding in a fart for too long can be uncomfortable, painful and just a stressful position to be in, especially when you are out in public. But fear not, you will be a fart silencer device after learning about these techniques to release gas without making a sound.

Here are a few tips on learning how to fart quietly:

1. Release the gas slowly

If you want to rip one out without making any noise, the best way is to relax your anus muscles and release the gas slowly. You can also gradually release this gas in smaller and quieter puffs instead of one large explosion. 

• Tip: Shift slightly in your seat and let the gas escape slowly over time. You can also use a pillow over to help muffle the sound of your fart as a precaution. 
• This is best when you want to fart quietly in class or while in your office.

2. Change your position

If you are sitting and you want to fart, a little change in your position might help. The angle at which you sit or stand can affect how your fart sounds. Sitting upright can cause a louder noise. Instead, try leaning slightly forward or standing to create a better “release angle.” 

• Tip: You can also time your fart to when you change your position to mask the noise better. 

3. Squeeze your glutes

You can pass silent farts if you squeeze your glutes. Try to tighten your glutes when you feel the urge to let one out. This might help the fart go away completely and you can do it anywhere whether you are in the bedroom or your office. This can also work if you are wondering how to hold in a fart without it making noise.

• Tip: Tightening and then relaxing the glutes can also help to control the release of the gas. 

4. Use the “cough-cover” technique

How do you let out a fart without making a sound? Easy! The best way to get rid of gas secretly is to cover it up like a pro. You can do this by making any loud noise at the same time as your fart. You can sneeze, cough, talk on the phone or move your chair as you toot away to help manipulate the sound.

• Tip: If you are worried about a fart with no sound but it stinks, you can cover up with a perfume, air freshener or even a scented lotion. 

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5. Walk away from there

Walking away from the fart crime scene is known as “crop dusting.” It means farting on the move. You can exit the scene by simply walking away from the area of the fart. This helps in diffusing the fart in a larger area, making you less of a suspect. You can also just walk toward an empty area to be on a safer side. 

• Tip: Don’t make it too obvious by jogging away, that will just seem suspicious. Casually walk away. 

6. Blame someone else

As mean as this may sound, it is the oldest trick in the book. The only way you can be off the hook is if you blame someone else. Keep your cool, fart as quietly as possible using one of the tricks mentioned above and then blame someone else. This works even better if you are somewhere with a larger group of people. 

• Tip: If you are trying to blame someone else for your own fart, don’t be the first to point it out. It can make you look suspicious, as the saying goes “whoever smelt it, dealt it.”

7. Breathing exercises

This may seem unnecessary but trust me this can help! If you take deep breaths in and out, your focus will shift on the breath instead of the fart. This will help you naturally relax your body. And as we learnt above, when your body is relaxed, the chances of a silent fart increase. 

• Tip: Use this as a last resort. According to studies, holding a fart is never the solution. 

These tips can help you fart silently. However, there are a few things you can do that will help you reduce the gas in the first place. 

5 Tips To Reduce Gas Naturally

No one likes being gassy and let’s be real, it’s not always possible to escape the deadly release. However, you can do a few things to cut down on the need for silent escapes altogether. 

Here are five natural ways to reduce gas:

• Eat slowly: Fast eating causes you to swallow more air, leading to more gas. Chewing your food properly will not only reduce the amount of air you swallow, but also help in digestion.
• Avoid carbonated drinks: These beverages contain more gas and thus introduce more gas into your digestive system.
• Limit gas-producing foods: Beans, cabbage, and onions are notorious gas creators—eat in moderation. If you are wondering how to fart without smell, avoiding these foods will also help with that. 
• Stay active: Walking after meals can aid digestion and prevent gas build-up.
• Hydrate: Drinking plenty of water helps your digestive system break down food more efficiently, reducing gas.

Conclusion: Farting Quietly Is a Skill Worth Learning

Let’s face it—farts happen. But these techniques can help you become a fart silencer device and save you from public embarrassment. From mastering the glute squeeze to timing your release with external noise, knowing how to fart quietly can truly save you from awkward moments. Plus, reducing your overall gas naturally can make public escapes less frequent.

If all else fails, just blame it on the person next to you.

Fun Facts About Farts

• Humans produce about 0.5-2 liters of farts everyday
• Women fart more than men but are more discreet about it.
• Apparently, farts can travel about 10 feet per second, which is around 6.8 miles per hour.
• Air biscuit, bum crank and wind the horn are a few slang words for farting. These unusual slang words are getting out of hand.